" Thou comest to me with a sword and a spear and a shield, but I come to thee in the name of the L-rd of Hosts, the G-d of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast humiliated..." (I Samuel, 17:45-47)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Top 10 Signs You're A Leftist Screwball

The face of  the next generation of the diseased Left.
I know. Top Ten lists are a lazy excuse for a blog post. What can I say? They amuse me. So here it is. The "Top 10 Signs You're A Leftist Screwball."

#10- You and your "significant other" named your adopted Thai child, Rabin. The other choices were Ghandi, Desmond Tutu, Emil, or Gonad. Not Yitzchak of course, that would have sounded too Jewish. Just Rabin.

#9-You enjoy singing the "Song of Peace" during your daily wheat-germ and crab-apple colonic. And checking out your new Peace Now "Settlement Watch" Iphone application.

#8-Shimon Peres makes you proud to be an Israeli. Not a Jew, mind you. You don't like Jews. An Israeli.

#7-You think Golda Meir was a militant. 

#6- You believe that Yigal Amir is maniacally laughing to himself as he sits in solitary confinement.

#5- The only "Rabbi" you don't want to see beaten is Michael Melchior of Meimad. The others are all psychopathic extremists who have sex through sheets and harbor an uncontrollable desire to tar, feather, and stone homosexuals.

#4-Jews with kipot and side-locks make you see red. 

#3-Your definition of "innocent Arab children" includes grown Arab men wielding hatchets. Frustration doesn't make one a terrorist. As you see it, the greatest danger facing Israel is Jewish extremism.

#2-You have a ten foot golden statue of Rabin in your living room. You often curl up next to it in a fetal position and cry whenever it looks like the Jews have derailed the peace process.

#1- You never heard of the Altalena. You ask if it's the name of some new techno band. When someone enlightens you, you respond, "good", they deserved it." As a Peace Now activist, you abhor violence in all forms except when it's directed against "rightists" and "settlers." Then your motto is "kill them all." After all, anyone who doesn't live in Tel Aviv or Haifa contributes to the "occupation."


If any of the above applies to you, the verdict is in. You're  a latte licking, self-indulgent, snivelling, whiny, Leftist. 

3 comments:

  1. I insist you submit this to Haveil Havalim!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shame on you, you violent fanatic extremist! Such hatred is not the way! And you on top of me, don't encourage his rage!

    ReplyDelete
  3. After all, are the ways of Torah not the ways of peace?

    ReplyDelete

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