You Might Be A Jewish Pagan If...

In this past week's portion of the Torah reading (Parshat Mishpatim), we read about the biblical prohibition of engaging in witchcraft."Thou shall not suffer a witch to live." The Torah wasn't merely referring to ancient times when men sacrificed each other to appease the gods. The pagan drive is still strong today, and there are many Jews who seek out the advice of  contemporary Jewish "witches". Naturally, I want to help out these headless chickens. So I've authored a list to aid the reader's self-diagnosis:

You Might Be A Jewish Pagan If.......

1. You wrap your head in a tallit ball during Birkat Kohanim, (the priestly benediction) out of concern  that if you see the kohen's hands, your eyeballs will explode like grapes. (As an aside, "The Jewish Fist" follows the authentic Jewish approach on the matter, which is to refrain from looking at the kohen during the benediction because it would be distracting.)
2. a) You believe that the Lubavitcher Rebbe (of blessed memory) is Moshiach. b) you pray to him.
3. "Nah Nah Nah...." Your holy mantra to keep away lewd thoughts. Or at least elevate them.
4. At the local tisch, you make it a practice to eat the Rebba's masticated "arbes"(a holy legume) to fulfill the ancient  mitzvah of shrayim.
5. You enjoy leaping over roaring bonfires at the grave-sites of Rishonim. 
6. When walking alone at night, you worry about Ashmodai ( the king of the demons).
7. When you attend a brit, you ask the mohel for the foreskin, as a segulah for parnasah (a livelihood).
8. You keep a clove of garlic in your pocket to ward off the "evil eye" and "agents of Lilith" aka women.(Some maintain that a piece of stale matzoh smeared with the jelly off a rotten etrog is also effective, but that's plain nonsense.)
9. Palm reading is important to you. But only if its done by a "holy person" who accepts credit cards for his holy work. Your definition of an apikorus: Someone who denies the merits of palm reading. 
10. You keep a giant ball of red string in the trunk of your car. 
11. You deal with "unwanted thoughts" by rolling around naked in the snow. 
12. You enjoy reading "spiritual books" which speak about "G-d's needs and feelings." As a committed pagan, you understand that tying your shoelace without proper kavanah can destroy entire worlds. 
13. As a warrior against pritzus, you spend the better part of the day thinking about seminal emissions and self-defilement. And about the army of deformed changelings that are waiting for  you. 

Diagnosis: If even one of these applies, you're a pagan. For starters, you might want to use your intellect for a change and learn some authentic Torah. Try studying the Rambam or Saadyah Gaon's "Emunah V'deot" to get your head right.

One last thing. If you believe that the author of "The Jewish Fist" warrants the ancient curse of pulsa d'nurah for writing this list, you're definitely a pagan. 

Why Did The Feminist Chicken Cross The Road?

"Rabba" Hurwitz with Avi Weiss. 

Q: Why did the feminist chicken cross the road?

A: To daven for the amud at The Hebrew Institute of Riverdale.

It's been a while since I wrote about Avi Weiss, who heads the Hebrew Institute in Riverdale, NY, and whose list of radical innovations in a supposedly "orthodox" synagogue include the recent ordination of a women, Sara Hurwitz, as a "Rabba."  When I last visited this issue, I castigated the Rabbinical Council of America for a weak-kneed response and their failure to throw Weiss out of the organization.The following link contains the RCA's official statement.  Essentially, the RCA told him not to do it again, and he agreed. It's important to note what the RCA did not require of him. They did not demand that Weiss remove the title Rabba from Sara Hurwitz, or remove her from her post. They neglected to deal with the dangerous precedent that even one Rabba represents to Torah Judaism. This concession was a major victory for Weiss and the other ortho-feminists out there. At the end of the day, the Hebrew Institute has a female Rabba. (For more on this subject, read my post, The RCA Is Dead.) As seen by this screen shot from the HIR website, Sara Hurwitz still retains her title.

I wasn't even aware of Weiss's latest outrage, until I stumbled upon an online article from The Jewish Week entitled, "Weiss Moves Beyond Rabba."  The title was appropriate, for indeed Weiss had moved beyond the issue, by allowing a female congregant to lead the Kabbalat Shabbat prayer service one Friday night. 

I don't feel like regurgitating the article. Read it yourself and consider the following points that jumped right off the screen at me:

• Just how smug and brazen is Avi Weiss, to take this next descent into the abyss right after a public clash with the RCA? He's making an absolute laughingstock of the RCA, and they have neither the courage nor the intellectual honesty to remove him.

• Consider the contempt he has for many of his former and present congregants, some of whom have already left his congregation, and others who may now reconsider it, after being put off by this latest incident. Avi Weiss does what he wants and the congregation can come along for the ride or leave. Of course there are many sheep in his congregation who will adapt to the innovations of their esteemed rabbi and mentor. In time they may even learn to enjoy it. And then they will hail him as an even greater innovator of "open orthodoxy."

• Surprisingly, Rabbi Shafran of the Agudath Israel of America had mild words about the incident. While obviously opposing these innovations as contrary to yahadut, his response was parve. This is what I got out of Rabbi Shafran's words. "Rabbi Weiss's move saddens me." Really earth-shaking sentiments. I would have expected the condemnation to have some bite. It did not. And for that the Agudah should be ashamed of itself. Of course, in the grander scheme of things,  the Agudah is irrelevant to Avi Weiss. We're talking about two different planets.

• Ironically, Rabbi Shmuel Goldin of the RCA had stronger words on the matter, as seen in the following segment of the article. This makes the RCA's subsequent failure to address the issue even more inexplicable:

Rabbi Shmuel Goldin of Englewood, N.J., a vice president of the Rabbinical Council of America, said RCA leadership is critical of Rabbi Weiss’ action, but has not yet decided on any action it may take.

“A woman serving as shaliachat tzibbur [the cantor] for any portion of synagogue services is unacceptable,” Rabbi Goldin said. “If such a thing occurred, it would obviously be wrong and not in keeping with Orthodox tradition.”

The recent RCA agreement with Rabbi Weiss, in which he agreed not to ordain women, did not foresee and “did not address” a woman leading services, Rabbi Goldin said, so Rabbi Weiss’ action is not in technical violation of the agreement. “The question is, is it a violation of Jewish tradition, and we believe it is.”

Does Rabbi Weiss face disciplining by, or suspension from, the RCA?

“It is premature for us to comment on any particular action that we will be taking,” Rabbi Goldin said, “but all actions are on the table.” 

This article was from August 4, 2010 (one day short of a mere five months after the RCA's "Rabbah statement"). From the tone of Rabbi Goldin's words, it sounded like Weiss was in trouble with the RCA.  I've checked the RCA website. I've clicked on every link and searched the site repeatedly. I don't even see a reference to the incident, let alone a statement reflecting any discipline. I don't know about you, but I find this this very disturbing. (I suspect that one or more philanthropists who support  Weiss and the RCA may have put a damper on any plans to oust him.) The RCA purports to represent "Torah true" Judaism. Yet time and time again, they fail to stand up for the Torah. Exactly how far can Avi Weiss push the envelope before they throw him out? Perhaps when a lesbian "Rabba" blows the shofar following neilah.Then again, maybe not.

Where is the public outrage from Torah leaders? There are striking similarities between orthodoxy's collective  failure to address the menace of Lubavitch messianism that arose after the Rebbe's (of blessed memory) death, and this very different but no less dangerous infection that endangers many segments of the "modern-orthodox" world.

"Separate but equal." An obscenity when it comes to dividing people based on skin color, or absurd notions of race. But in yahadut, separate but equal is essential to the perpetuation of the mesorah (tradition). One could surely argue that the role of the woman is even more essential than the man's. In many aspects I believe this to be true. The Torah requires a separation in roles, both for halachic and hashkafic (idealogical) reasons. And both are critical for the Torah observant Jew. Gender confusion, role reversal, these will prove to be the spiritual death of the Jewish family. Jews will leave the fold in even greater numbers if the fundamentals of our tradition become warped, skewed, and finally abandoned. (When Jonathan's Ema starts behaving like a second Aba, something is bound to go wrong.)

Women are as good as men. And Jewish women are as essential to Judaism as men are. But they are not men, and men are not women. Let women find fulfillment as Jewish women in accordance with the Halachah. And let them not be led astray by the false shepherds, who would sacrifice the flock to the wolves, to satisfy a feminist agenda. 

Where Is The RCA?

Caution: Reading "The Jewish Week" can be hazardous to your soul. Proceed with caution. Rabbis Set To Rumble Over Rabba? - (Jewish Week Article)

A friend directed me to the above article. As a general rule, I rarely post a link to any of "The Jewish Week's" articles, which are usually a forum for federation influenced Hellenists to bash religious Jews and distort Judaism in general. Occasionally, I read it online (I would never pay a cent for that rag) to get a sense of what's going on in the world of secular American Jewry. I found this article interesting, because I have been calling on the RCA to oust Avi Weiss from their organization, due to his numerous "progressive" actions that pose a threat to Halachic Judaism. The most notable examples within the last year have entirely crossed the line. First there was his unprecedented ordaining of a woman as a "Maharat" (a "rabbi" for all practical purposes, but at the time they were still trying to insist that it wasn't the case), and more recently, when he put aside the charade and made her a full member of his synagogue's rabbinical clergy, under her new title of "Rabbah".

If what the article is positing is true, (and I hope it is) then the RCA should stop dawdling and expel him immediately, while they still retain some semblance of credibility. Avi Weiss has been barking up this feminist tree for years without any consequence. (The RCA considered throwing him out years ago, but they backed off, due to pressure from certain individuals from within the organization.) Enough is enough. Ordaining a woman as a "Rabbi" is antithetical to the most basic concepts of yahadut, and a direct assault on Halachic Judaism.

The RCA needs to follow the lead of the Moetzes Gedolei Hatorah, who recently came out with a statement condemning this abomination and declaring outright that, "Any congregation with a woman in a rabbinical position of any sort cannot be considered Orthodox." (There are a great many issues that I disagree with when it comes to the Moetzes Gedolei Hatorah. This is not one of them.) The RCA needs to throw him out before his contagious belief system spreads and creates another version of the heretical conservative movement. They have already waited too long.

It will speak volumes if the RCA allows Avi Weiss to remain. In my opinion, the RCA is facing a critical decision today. The Hellenists are on the march and they need to make a decision. Will they show courage and come out with an unequivocal statement fighting for Halachic Judaism even if it means that they lose the support of the more "pluralistic" members of the organization? Or will they shirk away from the issue and desecrate The Almighty's name as Halachic Judaism takes another gut shot?

Years ago, when the Lubavitcher Rebbe (of blessed memory) passed away, prominent Lubavitch personalities and organizations faced a similar moment when they neglected to condemn the heretical/idolatrous messianics in the movement, either due to similar convictions (in the majority of cases) or fear of taking an unpopular stance. As a result they lost credibility among those who have any understanding of the heresy that transpired. How the RCA responds (and silence will also constitute a response) will also resonate for years to come. The RCA needs to decide. Will they stand up for yahadut, or become partners in the continued erosion of the mesora?

Personally, I have no confidence in the RCA (or any Jewish organization for that matter). My gut tells me that they're going to bury their head in the sand and let this abomination slide. I hope they prove me wrong.