" Thou comest to me with a sword and a spear and a shield, but I come to thee in the name of the L-rd of Hosts, the G-d of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast humiliated..." (I Samuel, 17:45-47)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

It Appears That I Am An Extremist

A friend of mine recently called me an extremist at the Shabbat table. My Shabbat table, no less. There was no malice or spite in his words. I understand that he is a product of a different place and time, an older oleh chadash who will never understand my "extremism". After pondering about the moniker, I was able to come up with ten reasons that might justify his calling me an extremist. 
  • I don't want to see the borders of my country shrinking to the size of the Warsaw Ghetto or Ehud Barak's beitzim. In short, I oppose cutting my country up like a piece of shnitzel.
  • I believe in the biblical injunction to dispossess the enemy from the land lest I and my coreligionists fall under their swords.
  • I oppose the rising crime in Israel, and the government's acceptance of vicious mafias in our midst. I refuse to accept  murder, rape, and record levels of prostitution in the Jewish state.
  • I oppose the presence of missionaries in our country who prey on misguided Jews and persuade them to embrace the cross. 
  • I accept the halachic definition of a Jew. I oppose the process where becoming a Jew is as easy as changing a pair of socks.
  • I oppose the disrespectful usage of the various graves of Rabbis throughout the country whose burial sites have become idolatrous shrines for the modern day pagans.
  • I am nauseated by the religious parties for their fressing on graft at the feast of the pigs.
  • I demand that Israel immediately strip itself of the poisonous narcotic called U.S. foreign aid. 
  • I demand that Israel crush it's enemies with the brutality of  Joshua and King David.
  • I oppose the use of Arab labor. Jews can also learn to drive bulldozers and handle dangerous equipment. 
If these positions are extreme, then there is no doubt about it. I'm a Jewish extremist. And damn proud of it.

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